I have a certain understanding that being on the crossroad means that I am to live in a way which doesn't conform with the world and with the sole objective of promoting God's glory, but I am not very clear on the details. Given that we only have one life which can terminate anytime and only one goal in this life which we cannot afford to miss, it seems prudent to submit myself to be taught by the authour of life. This is why I have adopted the motto, "PRAY AND LEARN".
There are two important points that summarise all that I have learnt so far. The first is that compared, or in relation, to God, I am nothing, and all that I am - seem to be - or have is from God, the Owner of His gifts which He gives as He wills; the Master Planner. The second is that God must be praised, always and everytime, simply for being. Non-negotiable. Notwithstanding the circumstance. Simply because He is God. The Lord of Heaven and Earth.
These twp points are summarised in the words DIGNUM ET IUSTUM EST, which is Latin for IT IS RIGHT AND JUST. It was a turning point for me the day I really heard these words during the Eucharistic Celebration.
"Priest: Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
People: It is right and just.
Priest: It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, Holy Father, Almighty and Eternal God."
These words, DIGNUM ET IUSTUM EST, I have said all my life and yet it felt as if I had never heard them before; they felt new. I pray they follow me for the remainder of my life; I hope to have carved on my tombstone (if I'm lucky to have one).
To change is hard. The words of Jesus in this meditation: "You don’t need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your confidence in that love that will make you change" make me believe that maybe there could be a way for me to also experience God as the Saints claim.
This meditation helped me to realise that my heart was indeed looking for a place to empty itself, and that I was looking in all the wrong places. I wanted to attach myself to everything else except God, and even if I wanted God, I only wanted Him for the things He could give to me.
Our relationship with God begins with the clear understanding and deep conviction that we are loved by God. Only then can anything worthwhile - useful for our salvation - emanate from us. This meditation helped me to understand the obtacles blocking my mind from perceiving God's love.